Bent, not Broken
by Steffili
Summary: Alicia is happily married. Or so she thought. But no marriage is ever completely happy, or is it? And what do you do when all happiness is suddenly gone? AU story.
1. How far we've come

A/N: Ok, this is my newest project. I am progressing well with the writing so I thought, what the heck, I will start uploading this now. I (and all readers for that matter) have to thank Josie for this story. Because without her I would have dismissed the idea. Only when we started discussing it more deeply did I decide to write it. :D Special thanks to Leigh for grammar-checking, and at the speed of light, too. :D 3 So, here it goes.

* * *

My name is Alicia Gardner. I am 35 years old and married to a wonderful man, William. No one but his mother ever calls him that, apart from me when I'm teasing him. He is known to the world as Will Gardner, brilliant lawyer and for a little longer than a year equity partner at Stern, Crozier & Abott, a big and well renowned Chicago law firm. I am a lawyer there as well, not yet an equity partner though because I took a break of 1 ½ years when we had our daughter, Grace. I hadn't wanted to go back to work right away so I took my time. Seeing my baby girl grow up and being there for her at the beginning was very fulfilling, but being a lawyer had always been my dream job and I didn't want to give that up. I knew that eventually I would get bored and I couldn't take too long away from work and when we decided not to have more children for a while, I got back to my old job, and Grace had a wonderful Nanny and in the blink of an eye, had started school.

I am, and have always been, passionate about my job, something that my husband can attest to because he was there from the start. We met in Georgetown and I guess it was something you could call love at first sight because our gazes met and it was like seeing an old friend for the first time in years. We got closer through classes and studying for them. At first I wasn't sure if we'd work out – he was spectacular looking, amazingly brilliant and many of the other girls on campus were usually all over him. But at some point I realized that he had only eyes for me. So I accepted it when one evening he walked me home after a late class and pulled me in for a gentle kiss once we were at my place, a kiss that made my knees weak. In the following weeks we spent as much time together as we could and I fell hard for him. My brilliant lawyer friend was also a really sweet guy and an amazing lover.

From then on we were a couple all through the rest of law school, the last year of it even living together in a much too small space, but we were busy with preparing for the finals and beyond that too in love to even care. The last 2 months before the BAR exams passed in a blur, we studied hard and were determined, working together perfectly and helping each other out. We were also preparing to move to Chicago because that was where we were going to live when college and exams were done. After the exams were over Will took me out to dinner to a really expensive restaurant. I told him we shouldn't, we didn't have much money between student loans and the new apartment – only slightly bigger, but still more costly than the other one. But he insisted and after we had an amazing dinner he took me outside and we went for a little walk, the stress of the exam preparation finally falling away from us.

When he suddenly stopped and looked at me all weird, it took me by surprise at first, but when he started talking and suddenly knelt to the ground in front of me I gasped as realization hit me. He was proposing to me. I can still recall his words. _Alicia, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I know you are the one for me. So please, will you marry me? _Of course I accepted because how could I not. I loved him and he loved me and it was already set in motion that we would be spending our future together, for we had been accepted for jobs as first year associates at the same company – of course given we had both passed our exam. So our lives together began – working at the same firm was reassuring and even though we were not always working the same cases, we got to see each other during the day and have lunch together often. It was perfect.

We had a small and intimate wedding with our families. My mother cried, she was really happy with my choice of man for once, but that was mainly thanks to his charms that could melt a block of ice and so my mother hadn't really posed a challenge for him. For our honeymoon we went away to Yellowstone National Park for a long weekend. We spent our days exploring the canyons and waterfalls and the nights making love. The perfect getaway after we'd settled in with our new firm, enjoying some time alone in the peaceful nature and our first vacation as a married couple. Will promised to take me to the Caribbean one day when we had more money.

That was also the time when we discussed having a baby for the first time, sitting by the fire at night and talking about what our son or daughter would look like, what we would name them. We decided to wait another year before we started trying. When the time came, it only took 3 months before the test indicated we had succeeded and that I would be having a baby. I can still recall how nervous Will was, he was pacing and rambling how he hoped the test wouldn't be negative again. I had smiled and tried to calm him down and told him that it still wouldn't be reason to worry if it was. When I showed him the result his smile brightened and he pulled me close and kissed me, whirled me around and kissed me again. Then set me down, stepping away and looking at me as if he was scared he would break me. I pulled him close for another kiss and dissipated his worry quickly though.

The pregnancy had been relatively easy. The morning sickness lasted for about 2 weeks but that was the worst of complications I had. Finally we had Grace, our sweet baby girl. I loved her so much from the start, and so did Will. It was so cute to see him with his tiny infant daughter in his strong arms. To watch them together always made me pause in complete awe, and I guess that was one more thing to add up to the things he was simply perfect at: Being a father.

So, yes, I've had it all. Perfect family with a perfect husband. I say had for a reason. Because I screwed it up, and badly. I cheated on him. It was a stupid and drunk mistake. But it still changed my life forever, the consequences so far reaching I could never have imagined.

* * *

So, this is the first taste of what's to come. Does anyone want to know what went wrong there? :D


	2. The ultimate betrayal

It's late in the evening and I am sitting at a bar. It's not overly crowded as it's a week night but I just needed to clear my head, needed to get away from Will and our fight. I hate fighting with him and it usually didn't happen much. But things had got worse over the course of the last 2 months. Looking back I suddenly started to see the signs, see that something was off. He was suddenly always working so late and during the day at work was more serious, colder in some way. That was a good way to describe his whole demeanor. He still was my loving husband and a great father, but he somehow started to pull back. The change in him growing bigger and bigger. We only ever had sex on the weekends, if at all and Will told me he was just exhausted and tired from work and to not think anything of it.

Then one day I was sure of it: He was cheating on me. He had to be. That was the only logical explanation for everything. I tried to figure out who the other woman was, it had to be someone from work I figured. For a moment I considered Diane, a friend of Will's and mine. She was a good 10 years older than us and had been like a mentor to both of us starting freshly at the firm. But she still was a damn attractive woman. But then again I couldn't imagine that. She was my friend after all as well and we only recently had dinner and I had picked up on nothing at all there. So it had to be someone else, probably someone younger. Maybe one of the young blonde paralegals, with a short skirt and tight blouse.

By the time Will had come home I'd worked myself into a frenzy, the downward spiral going on and on. He didn't love me anymore, he found me ugly and old and wanted to trade me in for a newer model. That had to be it. He was still so breathtakingly beautiful and he could have any girl that he wanted. While I was getting old and boring for him.

So I accused him right away when he came in the door. Accused him that he'd been having an affair for weeks now, that he was never home and that he obviously didn't love me anymore. He just stared at me like I was crazy. Then we started arguing. Him actually telling me I was crazy, he hadn't cheated or pulled away, he just had more and more work and that was consuming all of him. Saying that I had been the one to pull away and be reluctant to share some intimacy with him and he was just trying to give me space and not make a big fuss out of it. I yelled back that he was just trying to cover his ass and when he still didn't confess I just rushed out of there, needing some space and time to breathe and think about it.

I ordered another shot of tequila. His bogus excuse of "just more work" didn't make any sense at all, and so I decided he really was having an affair it seemed. I had no idea what I should do. The thought crossed my mind to have Kalinda look into it. But then it struck me, she could be a good candidate, too. After all I know she's not exclusively focused on women. She isn't gay but flexible as she'd once told me, and she has a reputation regarding sex with frequently changing partners. I groan in frustration and the bartender fills up my glass. Suddenly I sense I am not alone and turn to my right where a tall, dark haired guy is standing. On second glance, I recognize him. It's Peter Florrick, the SA of Cook County. Of course I know him through work, though our social contact so far was limited to a few flirty exchanges.

"Hey, Alicia. What a surprise to find you here. Mind if I sit? Or are you expecting company?"

"No, I don't mind, I am drinking all alone."

I had only had 2 shots so far but was feeling slightly adventurous all of a sudden, still hurt and angry at my husband. Those feelings fueled by alcohol are a dangerous mix but I don't even care right now. I wait till my companion has his own shot of tequila placed in front of him and then we lift our glasses and down the shots, only to order another round right away. I greedily empty mine and Peter is following my lead. As I order another round right away his brows furrow.

"Are you ok? Do you – I don't know – want to talk about it?"

I stare at him blankly. Like talking ever solved anything. I am still the woman that got made a fool out of by her husband. And he wouldn't even be man enough to admit to it.

"No. I don't want to talk. I want to drink."

I down the next shot and start to feel slightly dizzy. But still I order another one. Peter looks even more worried now and it annoys me.

"What? Don't look at me like that. I can take this."

"Yeah, I don't think so, your speech is beginning to become slurred. How about I take you home now?"

I stubbornly drink the next shot, shaking my head afterwards to clear the mist that is beginning to cloud my brain.

"Ok that is enough."

He pulls out a couple of bills and puts them on the bar, then gets up and pulls me to my feet. I sway a little on my high heels and stumble against him. His arm comes around his waist and our gazes meet as I look up at his face. He's taller than Will, and I wonder when the last time he looked at me like this, the way Peter is looking at me right now, making something stir deep inside of me.

"Come on, I will drive you home now."

But we are not actually moving, I'm still firmly pressed up against him and we are staring at each other, and suddenly he bends down and kisses me. The last of my decency snaps like a thin rubber band and I kiss him back hungrily. As we pull apart I gasp.

"No. Not home. There is a hotel across the street."

* * *

ok. So now we know how it happened. ;) I hope you will are all interested in how they will work it out again? :D


	3. Everything is broken

Chapter 3: Everything is broken

Much to my horror I must have fallen asleep at the hotel because when I checked the clock next it was nearly 2:30 AM. I sat upright and the room started spinning. I raced to the bathroom and threw up, getting rid of the rest of the alcohol, but that was surely not the only reason I felt sick to the core. I had just cheated on my husband and that was the stupidest thing I'd ever done in my whole life. Even though he did it first that was no reason to pay him back in kind. My mind is racing - I should know better, no, I _did_ know better. I have no idea what to do now. I feel sick and helpless and see no way out. Home. Going home, that is the first thing I need to do. Have a long hot shower and then try and get more sleep. Maybe call in sick tomorrow because I need to think. I need to think about where my life went wrong and what to do about it. I got dressed, Peter still snoring heavily in the bed. I took one last look at him, oh God, what did I do? And with the State's Attorney too. Someone I will run into at work over and over again. Someone from the opposition. How can I be sure he won't ever use this against me for leverage? I will have to tell Will about it, and probably soon. I don't want to, I feel ashamed for having done this but I reckon I will have to tell him. But not tonight, no, not tonight. I splash some cold water on my face and don't feel as sick now that I've puked half my soul out but I am still nowhere ready to have this discussion with Will. I'm tired and just want to forget everything.

When I enter the apartment as quietly as I can, it's not dark and silent. The light in the living room is still on and suddenly I am face to face with Will, who is not asleep but very much awake and has obviously been waiting up for me.

"Thank God, Alicia, you're back. I was worried about you. You just ran off and...wait. What's with you? You look like hell."

His expression turns dark as his mind obviously makes the connection that should be impossible for him to make. But he knows me so well and I guess my shame and guilt is written all over my face.

"Oh God no. Tell me you didn't. Tell me you just got drunk at some bar all alone and then came home."

The accusation is not as direct as mine was earlier but it couldn't be any clearer. I don't know what to say.

"I...no that's not all that happened."

I force the words out and don't dare look at him. The anger and hurt that's written all over his face is too much to bear.

"You have got to be kidding me. You come at me with ridiculous accusations of me having an affair, then storm out without giving me any chance to explain what was really going on and go and get yourself fucked? How did you even...wow. Who was it? Is it something that has been going on for longer?"

My head jerks up in shock. What? How could he think that? Then it dawns on me what he had just said.

"What do you mean, explain what was really going on?"

"You really have no clue do you? Well, if you need to know and can't even trust me on this: I was working late and much harder because it was hinted to me that Stern will be retiring soon, opening up the race for new managing partner. I am up against Diane and David Lee So I was putting all my efforts into this so I could get this. I was doing it for us and wanted to surprise you. And you have nothing better to do than to completely mistrust me and accuse me of cheating and then instead you turn around and cheat on me?"

The room begins to spin and tears start to flow as the reality of his words sinks in. This can't all be true. I am just having a bad dream and I will wake up any second. Only I don't. I feel my knees buckle and I just fall to the floor crying because I literally cannot stand it anymore.

"Geez. Don't lie on the floor like that. Come here."

He comes over to me and drags me upright and then to my feet, leading me over to the couch and sits me down, stepping away quickly as if he can't stand to touch me anymore. I felt like he was pulling back before today but now I know I was horribly wrong. And now I know how it feels when he really is pulling back from me. I can see the hurt and disgust for me all over his face and I can't even blame him for it.

"You are really unbelievable and stop crying, you put that all on yourself. You screwed everything up, you screwed us up. I can't even stand to look at you now and I can't be in the same place so I'll just go. You take care of our daughter. She asked for you and she will be upset if you're not here tomorrow morning."

He walks over to the door and gets his jacket. I stare at him. He can't just leave me like this. I have an awful feeling that if he leaves now he won't ever come back.

"Where are you going? Please Will. Don't leave me."

I can't help it. I know I have no right to ask that of him but I realize in that moment, how much I love him and that it would kill me to lose him.

"Well I'm not going to fuck some random stranger if that's what you are thinking. I will be sleeping at the office if you must know."

His reply hurts me more than he could know, even though I know I deserve that and that he's just lashing out because I hurt him so badly.

"When will you be back?"

We need to talk about this. Not tonight, obviously. But sometime soon we have to.

"I don't know. Tomorrow after work I guess. At least to get some things. We will see about the rest."

With that he is out the door and I am all alone. Well not completely, as suddenly I hear tiny footsteps coming nearer.

"Mom? What's up? Did you and Daddy have a fight?"

I turn to face my 7 year old daughter that's standing in the hallway and looking at me all scared. I get up and go to her, hugging her closely to me.

"Yes Baby, we did, but it's going to be ok. It's something that grown ups do sometimes but we will make up, ok?"

"K, Mommy."

My heart breaks all over for her. I kick myself mentally for doing this not only to Will but also to her. I know I need to fix this. But I'm not sure how right now and as I hold my precious daughter, I can't help but wonder if I have broken both our lives beyond repair.

* * *

what a mess... how will they ever make this right again? Hope you will stay on to find out!


	4. Or is it?

I didn't go to work. I called in sick. I got almost no sleep and then it was time to get Grace ready for school. I spent the day doing housework and by noon was so exhausted that I managed to have a nap. Grace was fussing when I tried to put her to bed because she hasn't seen her Dad all day and he is not home now to read her a story. I call him on the phone and am relieved when he actually picks up.

"What? I told you I'd be home later."

His tone is distant and a little annoyed, it nearly makes me wince.

"It's Grace, she's upset that you're not here and I thought you could talk to her a little over the phone.

"Sure. Hand it to her."

His voice is softer now and it makes me smile but also hurts me even more. I hand the phone to Grace who's face lights up like a Christmas tree upon hearing his voice.

"Hi Daddy. I miss you. Why are you not here to read me a story?"

She listens to his reply closely.

"Kay Daddy. But will you be here for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Yes. Good Night Daddy."

She hands me the phone back and I take it, but Will has already hung up. I sigh and put it in my pocket.

"Are you good now, darling?"

"Yes Mommy. Daddy promised me to make me breakfast tomorrow."

I sigh in relief because I know he would never promise her something and not keep it and that means he probably will come home soon and stay the night.

It's a couple of hours later when he finally comes home. He's looking tired, taking off his shoes and jacket when he comes in and tugging his tie off. Even though he looks worn out and stressed he still is unbelievably gorgeous and I have to fight the urge to run to him and hug him.

"Hey." I say to him.

He just throws a glance at me, then mutely walks over to the kitchen, getting a beer out of the fridge.

"Did Grace go to sleep all right?"

I nod and smile softly at the mention of her name.

"Yes. She is looking forward to breakfast with you."

"Yes. I know I promised her that. So yeah, I will be staying the night. In the guest bedroom, that is."

I swallow the thick lump forming in my throat. Of course he would be.

"Will you ever forgive me? Will we be all right?"

It's the only question that I have and that's been running around my mind all day. He lets out an annoyed snort and places his beer down.

"I honestly don't know, Alicia. At the moment it feels like I can't forgive you. We had everything and you just threw it away. Why would you do that? It's like you are a completely different person to the one I thought I knew! I don't understand it."

I shake my head. If only I had the answer to that.

"I don't know either. I am so sorry I did it and regret it so much. I was drunk and hurt and not thinking clearly. You should have just told me about the managing partnership thing right away, instead of making me believe you were having an affair."

I can see his anger flashing up anew before he even speaks.

"_I _made _you_ believe that? Don't you see that it was all just in your own head?"

"Yes, I see that now but I didn't before. The clues were piling up more and more and I couldn't find a way out of it anymore. Oh God Will, I am so sorry, I want to make this right again. I love you and I don't want to lose you. I couldn't bear to lose you over this. Please tell me what I can do to make this right again. We need to work it out, not just for us, for Gracie."

I know my voice is begging and panicked but I don't care, I need to fix this, it can't be over like this. Also it is true, we need to make an effort at least for the sake of our daughter. He just shakes his head.

"Don't drag her into this. If it wasn't for her I'd probably be gone already. And I have no idea what you can do to make it right again. Or if you ever can, for that matter."

I feel tears starting to build up again. This is going nowhere.

"So, that's it? You don't want me anymore? I make one mistake and you hate me forever?"

I know that it's a cheap blow but I can't help it, I'm desperate and feel like I'm losing him.

He walks over to me, his angry gaze fixed on me in a way that's making me feel hot all over – mixed with a tiny dash of fear.

"Me not wanting you anymore? I wish I could turn that off so easily. Hating you? I wish. If you would just realize how much I love you. Do you think this would hurt me so much if I could hate you? If I could just serve you with the divorce papers and forget all about you? Problem is, I don't hate you, even after what you did to me."

He is standing so close now that our bodies are almost touching. I realize that I crave his touch, and badly so. Our gazes meet and the mood shifts palpably and the next moment we are kissing and he's pushing me up against the wall, roughly, pouring all his anger into the kiss and the movement of his hands. I don't care, I welcome it, welcome this kind of punishment because it's all I will get out of him for now. He breaks away after a couple of minutes, panting, staring at me with all kinds of raw emotion. Then he grips me by the wrist and drags me along, towards the bedroom. I know he would have taken me right there against the wall but he wouldn't risk that because of Grace. Still, I am shocked that he's obviously really willing to go all the way with this and more turned on than I should probably be faced with his unfiltered anger seeping out of him but I know he won't hurt me.

* * *

30 minutes later I am in bed, naked and sweaty. I can't recall him ever being this rough with me before, this angry. Still, he didn't hurt me, as I predicted he wouldn't sink that low. I enjoyed it, my body welcoming the connection to him. Will is equally as sweaty as he untangles himself from me, getting up before he has even fully caught his breath. That hurts me more than he physically could have.

"Will, please, don't go just yet, can't you stay?"

He pulls up his boxers and then his pants.

"No, I'm going to the guest bedroom now. This doesn't change a thing right now."

He runs his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "Maybe there is still a chance left after all. Maybe not everything is broken beyond repair. But it will take a huge amount of time, I can tell you that much."

I know what he's saying is true but I am not convinced that just time will be enough to fix this.

"Would you consider couple's therapy?"

It's a suggestion I come up with out of the blue but maybe it could help us, we need to work out how we got here in the first place and how to avoid it in the future. He looks at me surprised, then considers it. Finally he slowly nods.

"I guess it maybe can't hurt. Make an appointment. I'll make the time. Good night."

With that he is out the door and even though this is progress, a tiny step in the right direction, I feel devastated.

* * *

so are we all excited to see them in therapy? :D


	5. Let's work this out

OK. Therapy time! Damn you babies you need to work this out!

* * *

I am nervous as we drive to the therapist's office. I was almost expecting that Will would back out of it last minute. After we slept together we didn't talk much anymore, aside from things related to Grace. He has told me he wasn't moving out for now and I am thankful for that. But him sleeping in the guest bedroom really isn't helping much. I want him back completely, I miss him, miss waking up in the night and knowing he is there, cuddling up to him for some warmth. I was stupid and I hate myself for doing this to us.

Dr. Miller is a guy in his fifties, with graying hair and kind eyes. He welcomes us in and has us sit down on the couch, he's taking the armchair opposite from us.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gardner. Welcome."

We greet him and I look awkwardly around the office. I don't have a real clue how to do this.

"So, on the phone you mentioned you were married about 10 years but now were facing problems that are threatening to break you up. So, tell me why that is."

I look at Will and he looks back at me, raising an eyebrow. I take a deep breath.

"I...well I cheated on him. It was a one time mistake, I see that now. And I regret it deeply."

Dr. Miller nods and looks at Will.

"I see. So tell me, Mr. Gardner, what do you think happened that caused your wife to cheat on you?"

I can see Will wasn't prepared for that. He's thinking hard about his answer.

"Well, we had a fight in which she implied out of the blue I was cheating on her. When I was just working late because I've become candidate in the race for managing partner at my firm. Mid-fight she stormed out and obviously met some guy at a bar and had sex with him. She won't even tell me who it was, not that it matters much. What matters is, that she hurt me badly and I have no idea how I can ever trust her again."

Dr. Miller is taking notes.

"Ok. So, would you want to know who it was, Mr. Gardner?"

A look of disgust comes over his face.

"No. Actually I think I don't. I guess I wanted to know at first but the more I think about it: What would be the use? If I knew I'd just want to kill the guy. Or at least break his nose."

An image of Will and Peter in a fistfight comes up and it's not a pleasant one.

"I see. Well, Mrs. Gardner, what made you believe your husband was cheating on you in the first place?"

"He was always working late suddenly, and pulling back from me and being secretive. Our sex life changed – for the worse. I felt left aside and figured he was seeing someone else on the side. I know now that that was a stupid and false assumption. That lead me to make a stupid, drunken mistake. "

That makes Dr. Miller raise his brow.

"Ok, so you were drunk?"

"Yes, I was drinking. I was at a bar and a guy came up to me. We drank together and he offered to take me home. We ended up at a hotel together."

Dr. Miller nods.

"Ok. So, Mr. Gardner. Tell me, are you willing to work on this? Do you still love your wife?"

Will raises a brow at him.

"Of course I do. I agreed to coming here after all, didn't I?"

He nods.

"Yes, you did. Well, what I can see here is that you obviously had some misunderstanding that lead to this. I can see that you, Mrs. Gardner, are deeply sorry for what you did and I guess it's safe to say you won't do it again, as this is not the typical affair. While you, Mr. Gardner still do love your wife. So I'd say we have some good ground to work from. But you need to work on your communication skills it seems. Also from what I've learned so far before all this started you were leading a good and successful marriage. So what we need to do is concentrate on that, and identify what it was that made you stronger and hold on to that."

I look at Will and he looks back at me, a hint of a smile crossing his face.

"Ok, and how do we do that?" Will wants to know.

"Well the first step is to find out what your strengths are. What kept you together in the first place. So I want you to take 2 minutes now and each give me 5 points what you love about the other. Then you will each give me one point. Doubles don't count, so you should put down 10 points to be sure. Let's begin."

I gasp as we are getting handed a notepad and pen each. Will casts one last glance at me, and then starts writing. I sigh and start writing, too. It's not that hard to come up with stuff I love about my husband. The openly sharing it, especially at this point in our relationship, is a little harder.

"Ok, so who wants to begin?" Dr. Miller asks and looks expectantly at us. Will shrugs his shoulders and nods at me.

"You go first." he tells me.

"Ok...so... I love about Will that he can always making me laugh."

Dr. Miller nods in approval.

"Good. Mr. Gardner?"

"I love about Alicia her strength."

"I love that he's always protecting me even if he wouldn't need to."

"I love that she's an amazing mother as well as business woman. That she can be both effortlessly"

"He is my lover and my best friend and I would be lost without him."

"She's stunningly beautiful and not just on the outside but also character-wise."

"He's generous and kind."

"She's the love of my life."

Our eyes meet at that and I can see the truth in his statement and the intensity of his feelings is so strong that I have to look away.

Dr. Miller clears his throat.

"That was very good, thank you. So, I want you to think about the things that were being said here today. You need to concentrate on those things and I encourage you to try and bridge the gap between you. Be a couple, maybe go out more. Mr. Gardner, you need to try to find it in you to forgive her. And you Mrs. Gardner need to accept his forgiveness."

With that we are dismissed. I'm still thinking about the "accepting his forgiveness" part. I know Dr. Miller has a point there, I guess as long as I have not forgiven myself it will be hard to accept that Will would do so.

We walk to the car and Will holds the passenger side door open for me, like he always used to do when we were younger. I raise an eyebrow at him in question and a smile creeps over his face. When I'm in the car he walks around and gets in himself. We start driving home in silence, something that used to be comfortable between us but now is not anymore. I feel the urge to make it better, to say something to relieve this tension.

"Do you really not want to know who the other man is?"

I still know I have to tell him eventually. Even though I want to bury it forever.

"No Alicia. I really don't. I don't want to know who the guy is that got to have you even though you swore to always be faithful to me. It doesn't help me to know."

I sigh at his tone, resigned and hurt. I still think he has to know who it is and now I dread even more to tell him, because I know how much more it will hurt him.

* * *

yes William needs to know who the other guy is... and he won't be spared that knowlege ;-) But how will he find out?


	6. The Scandal

Almost a week later after work I pick up the dry cleaning and nearly fall over backwards when I see the newsflash on the TV monitor above my head. Peter Florrick involved in scandal of sleeping with several hookers. Much to my dismay upon coming home I see Will is home early for once and the TV with the newest reports is already on. _State's Attorney Peter Florrick is accused of having associated with several prostitutes in exchange for dealing milder sentences..._.

Will turns towards me.

"Have you heard? It's all over the news. Wow, Florrick and some whores, I mean, rumor had been around for longer that he was corrupt but taking payment in sex, wow, that's a new low, especially since he's married. His poor wife."

I want to throw up right then and there, actually feeling the bile rising already. I race to the bathroom and make it just in time, trowing up heavily. My stomach protesting and not able to deal with all this stress anymore. To my surprise and shock Will follows me to the bathroom and I feel him close beside me, softly stroking the hair out of my face.

"Alicia? Are you ok? What is with you? Stomach flu or something?"

I am shocked that he's acting like nothing bad has ever happened between us and I hate it, hate that now I have to actually really tell him about the full extent of what I did. I get up off the floor and rinse my mouth, signaling him it's ok to let go of me. Then I turn around to face him.

"Will...that's him. The guy I had sex with...it's Peter."

I nearly choke on the words and I hate how they affect him, hate that I have to destroy the little bit of progress we had already made all over again. Evident in his face falling and a new wave of agony and anger washing over his features. But he doesn't say a word, he's just staring at me, then leaves me standing where I am, going back to the living room. I follow him.

"Will, please say something. I am sorry. I know you said you didn't want to know but with what happened now...I am not trying to make this harder on you. But I think given this new development you should know..."

I stop talking as I realize he's not even listening to me anymore but has picked up his phone and muting the sound on the TV is holding it to his ear, turning away from me.

"Kalinda. Have you heard? Yes. Florrick. Listen. I need you to look into something for me. Can you come over right now? Yes, to our home, it's really urgent and time sensitive. Yes. See you in 20."

He turns back around and shakes his head.

"Really Alicia. Of all people? What were you thinking? Don't you know that he could use this against you for leverage? Also now with this scandal there is even more risk of your name being connected to him and the damage that could do to you. To us, for crying out loud. What if someone saw you with him that night?"

I still feel sick and wonder if I will have to throw up again. Maybe this is my punishment, being stuck in an eternal hell of feeling sick and forever regretting what I did.

"I'm sorry, Will."

I know it's lame but I can't find anything else to say.

We are interrupted by Gracie coming running in.

"Mommy." she yells and I catch her in my arms, hugging her tiny body closely, biting my tongue so I don't start to cry. I love her so much and I hate myself even more for what I did to her with this.

"Hey Darling. How are you?"

"Good Mommy. How are you? Are you ill?"

I shake my head and hug her even tighter.

"Just a little, but I already feel better now that I have you."

I start tickling her and she screams and squirms out of my embrace, running to her father who catches her with ease, his features softening as he picks her up and holds her easily against his chest.

"Daddy! Mom was tickling me." she protests and he gives her a boyish grin that makes my heart ache because it makes him look 10 years younger again.

"I saw that. But you know Mommy loves you, right? She's just teasing."

I want to start crying all over again. He's just perfect. How could I ever have lost track of that?

"Yes Daddy. I love Mommy, too."

"I know you do. So do I."

Now I really can't hold the tears back anymore, they start rolling down my cheeks. Before Grace can see it the doorbell rings and Will sets her down. She runs off to answer the door, giving me time to compose myself a little.

It doesn't take long until Grace comes running back in.

"Mommy, Daddy there is someone from your work here."

Will goes to get Kalinda while I smile at Grace.

"Can you go to you room and do your homework, so we can discuss something with our coworker? Once we are done I'll come get you and then we are going to have dinner ok?"

She nods at me.

"Ok Mommy." she just confirms and then leaves us.

Will comes in with Kalinda and she looks back and forth behind us and furrows her brow.

"So, what is the problem here?"

Down to business, as always. Will is the one that takes control of the situation.

"We have a problem. Almost 3 weeks ago Alicia slept with Peter."

Kalinda is not someone to be surprised easily and if she is she's good at hiding it. But this time she's too shocked to even put on a poker face. Her glance my way giving away her surprise and obvious disapproval of what I have done.

I blush and want to disappear, just want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Will is a little more in control of his emotions.

"So as you think, if that came out it would now be extremely bad. It would hurt her professionally and ruin her reputation. So I need you too look into this, if someone saw them together and if so, make them go away. Money is not an issue."

Kalinda casts one more unbelieving glance at me, then focuses her attention back to Will.

"Ok, got it. I'll get right on it."

With that she's excusing herself and is gone again. Will comes back to the living room where I am still standing unmoving and not sure what to do.

"Ok, so with that being taken care of I will get right to the next task. The other end, so to speak. Making sure Peter doesn't bring your name up now he's facing criminal prosecution. You would after all be the perfect witness how he didn't pay for sex."

I gasp in shock. I wouldn't even have had the idea but of course he's right with that. Will continues talking.

"Also I think I'm done with not wanting to know. So, if there is more you better tell me right now. Because I am going to find out anyway."

He's looking at me intensely and there is one thing that comes to my mind that is weighing on me heavily and that I thought about first a little earlier.

"I...we didn't use a condom."

* * *

sorry for the cliffhanger. NOT. hahaha. :D sooooo what did you think and do you want to know what happens next? :D


	7. Facing The Consequences

A/N: I love how many of you suspected baby... hahahaha! Well, enjoy what happens... I love you all so much my fangirls!

* * *

After my revelations, Will is looking like he wants to throw up.

"Oh my God that's as disgusting as it is stupid."

I clench my arms around myself, feeling miserable about this.

"I know."

"So, if we assume he didn't use a condom with his hookers he could have passed who knows what on to you and you to me. Just great. Anything more I need to know? Really, Alicia, this is bad enough on its own and now you tell me this?"

"Well you know damn well that we haven't used condoms ever since Georgetown and I had an IUD ever since having Grace. So I wasn't exactly carrying one. And I was drunk. If there had been any good judgment left I would not have slept with him in the first place."

He shakes his head.

"Yeah. I will have to take your word for that."

"It's true Will, I love you so much, I didn't want to hurt you I swear. You have to believe me."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"I know. But the fact is, you hurt me, and badly. And that's not going away. And now on top of it all we could be having an STD. So, I guess a trip to the Doctor's is needed. You go and arrange that. I'll try to get through to Mr. Florrick. I think he's in need of a good lawyer now and I guess given the circumstances I am the perfect candidate for the job. I'll get him out of his fucking mess in exchange for him shutting up about you."

I gasp at him in shock. I can't believe that he would really do that for me.

"Will you can't. It's too much."

He shakes his head.

"No Alicia, it's not. I'm doing this to protect you, to clean up the mess that you made, for us. I want this out of the way so we can move on and work it out. It won't be a pleasant job but if Florrick has half a brain he'll accept me as his lawyer."

* * *

Later at night, I can't sleep. I got both of us a doctor's appointment to be tested for STDs. I don't even want to think about what illness I could have possibly contracted, the urge to take a two week long shower already strong in me as it is. The whole situation just seems to get more messy every day. Will had a meeting with Peter earlier and actually became his lawyer. I wonder how he managed to be in the same room as him and not kill him, for I know he's angry with me but even angrier with Peter. But he said he got him to agree to his terms – meaning keeping my name out of it all. They were trying to show that Peter paid for the hookers with his own money, not using his office or state funds for it. I felt bad myself but even worse for Will and for Peter's wife, for that matter. I've met her before at a fundraiser and she doesn't deserve this all. Sure, even if he hadn't slept with me she would still be the betrayed wife, but I still feel bad for the role I played in this all.

Kalinda had come back in the early evening handing us a tape of surveillance, a hotel receipt and telling us she had paid the bartender off that had clearly identified me from a picture, making him sign a non disclosure agreement. She'd been in a hurry, saying she needed to leave because she had a date. The way she had said it had been strange and upon Will asking her about it she'd shrugged her shoulders and said the pretty desk clerk of the hotel had remembered me with Peter but had been very inclined to go on a date with her so she was confident she could solve this in a different manner. I'd gasped in shock, I was pretty sure that was a form of prostitution as well but Will had just laughed and shaken his head and told her to have fun and if it didn't turn out the way she thought she should just use more money to cover the tracks thoroughly.

* * *

I pace the living room, then sit down on the couch but feet restless. It's 2 AM and I actually pour myself a glass of red wine, hoping that will help me calm down. I go back to the living room and drink in silence, when suddenly Will walks in, raising an eyebrow as he sees me with my wine.

"Hey. What's up with you, not able to sleep?"

I shake my head.

"No. I can't. I'm terrified. What if the doctor actually finds something?"

He walks in and I curse internally once more for he's looking perfectly edible even though he's just wearing sweatpants and an old shirt. He sits down on the couch next to me and watches me for a little. I feel miserable and just want to curl up to him but I know I can't, chances are he wouldn't let me.

"Well, then we get treated for it. I looked into the hookers he used. Two girls, actually. At least they belong to some upscale escort service, so contrary to the common street whore these girls normally undergo more regular health checks."

I can't believe he's actually trying to make me feel better, it makes me even more miserable and ashamed, I set my glass down and turn away as I start to tear up again. I know I need to get it together and not act so weak but it's easier said than done. I feel him shift beside me and suddenly he pulls me towards him and wraps his arms around me. At first I resist him but then I accept his gesture of comfort and sob into him, he's gently and wordlessly stroking my hair, letting me cry for a bit. He lets out a deep sigh, but remains unmoving until I have calmed down a little.

I look up at him and our eyes meet, he's looking so tired and I know he's worried too. His features soften a little and he bends down and kisses me, his lips brushing mine gently. Before I even realize what's going on, he's pulled back again.

"Go and sleep now. We have an eventful day tomorrow."

* * *

The next day we are headed to the Loop Health Center for our exams. We are received by a female doctor approximately our age that looks at Will all judgmental, clearly assuming that it must have been him that cheated on me and now possibly gave me STDs. Not the other way round. She explains the proceedings, we'll both get our blood drawn. Afterwards we are divided up for an individual testing, a nurse leads Will to another exam room while I prepare for my gynecological exam. From the short introduction earlier I know what Will has to go through in the other room and I can't imagine that it will be pleasant at all.

The judgmental doctor from earlier comes back to start my exam. Only now she's smiling softly and full of compassion. I should be thankful but I'm not, her behavior just painfully reminds me of what I did and makes me feel even worse about myself.

The exam goes by quickly and the doctor takes off her gloves.

"There, all done. Now let's hope that your exams come back negative. You have gone through enough humiliation already."

I can't believe that she would really say something about it, I think it's unprofessional – though maybe I would appreciate her words more if her assumption was actually correct.

"You know, it's actually my husband that has to face humiliation after humiliation because of me. I was the one who cheated on him, not the other way round."

It actually feel better saying it out loud like this and the shocked and embarrassed face of the doctor is worth it.

Later I meet up with Will again who does not look happy at all.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah well, let's put it this way, everybody in this damn clinic seems to assume that it could only have been me who was cheating of the two of us. So a not so pleasant exam was not made any easier."

I wince at that bit of information.

"I'm so sorry Will. Let's get out of here, ok?"

* * *

The next morning I'm awoken by Grace very early. I blink and check the alarm clock that says 4 AM.

"Mommy I had a bad dream." she whines and climbs into bed with me. Then suddenly, looking around:

"Where is Daddy?"

I gulp nervously. She's too big by now to not notice something is clearly wrong between us but thankfully not big enough to fully realize what.

"Daddy was feeling illso he went to sleep in the guest bedroom so he didn't wake me up."

It feels awful lying to her but of course I can't tell her the truth. And luckily enough she's ok with my explanation and goes to sleep next to me, I cradle her small body next to mine and sigh. I can't help but wonder if this will get any worse and when it might actually start to get better again.

* * *

haha sorry. No baby. :P do you still love me? :D


	8. Restart

nope. no baby. The whole STD thing - I know it's unlikely but the possibilities are there. It's hinted on the show he might not have used condoms with the hookers (urgh) so yeah...

* * *

Later I tell Will about Grace missing him and he sighs and shrugs his shoulders.

"I guess it's time I move back into the bedroom with you. I mean, we still need to work out our issues but it's a step that has to be taken at some point."

And just like that, it's decided. When we go to bed that night it feels awkward, him coming into the room and closing the door. I feel nervous and unsure what will happen. Though I can't imagine he would even want to actually have sex with me now, so I know I'm going crazy over this for nothing. I try to relax as he's switching off the lights and climbs into bed beside me but I can't for my body craves him especially when he's close like this, even though my mind is screaming no, that it's all wrong. I take a deep breath and release it again. He seems to be aware of my unease.

"I know, this feels weird. But we will get used to it again, I'm sure. Small steps. Just go to sleep now, ok?"

I have no idea when I finally fell asleep but when I wake up the next morning I can't move. I try to turn around and suddenly I realize, Will is holding on to me, spooning me from behind. I settle back in, the realization stunning me into stillness. But now Will is waking up, too, and I can feel the exact moment he realizes what's going on, because his body becomes rigid and then he's pulling away.

"Oh, hey. Good Morning."

I turn around and see his sheepish and slightly confused look, the sleep slowly draining from his features. Suddenly I can't help but laugh, this situation is just too ridiculous not to. He joins my laughter and it feels good, the tension for once lifting a little. Will smiles at me then, a real smile like I haven't seen him give me since all this started.

"You are so beautiful."

He softly strokes a strand of hair behind my ear and then holds on to my neck, next thing I know he's leaning in and kissing me without haste. I kiss him back after the initial shock wears off, breathing in his scent, my whole body coming alive with the need for him. But the next moment he's gone, just like that, disappearing into the bathroom. I touch my fingers to my lips. Maybe all is not lost.

* * *

The following Monday is our next therapy session. Dr. Miller has us sit down and smiles at us gently.

"Welcome back. So, did you make any progress since we last spoke?"

Will smiles.

"I moved back into the bedroom with her. Our daughter was beginning to catch on to that we were sleeping separately and we didn't want to confuse her. She's too small to understand why we would be sleeping apart."

Dr. Miller nods.

"Ok. So, did that result in you having sex?"

He directs the question at me.

"No, it didn't. We... we can't. A new issue came up...the guy I slept with, it um…came to my attention he might not have been...clean. And I didn't use a condom with him. So we had ourselves tested for STDs. They've come back negative for everything so far – but to confirm the HIV result, we have to wait until after the second test in 6 months."

Dr Miller is a little surprised at that one, but nods.

"Ok, that's unfortunate and I'm sorry. But good that you got tested and it came back all negative. So, did you decide to not sleep together until you took that second test? And how do you felt about the fact that Alicia exposed you to such a risk?"

Will shakes his head.

"We haven't really discussed it. I mean, I was of course not thrilled at this bit of news at first and I was angry. The testing itself was unpleasant and even painful and everyone at the clinic seemed to assume I was the one that had cheated and treated me accordingly. But the point is, it's highly unlikely that we have something and we could always use condoms until the first half year is up."

I suck in a sharp breath.

"I see, you don't agree, Mrs. Gardner?"

"I mean...well I haven't given it further thought so far. But I'm terrified by the whole STD thing and I hadn't figured he would even want to sleep with me anytime soon..."

I know I'm blushing vividly but I can't help it.

"Well of course I would want to – eventually. And surely before six months go by."

Dr Miller takes some notes and nods.

"Let's go back to the STD exams quickly. You said, Mr. Gardner, that you got judged by the clinic personnel because they thought you were the one cheating and threatening to give your wife STDs. Why didn't you clear that up?"

"What difference does it even make? It's none of their business and at least that way Alicia was treated more kindly than me."

I gulp. It's unbelievable how amazing he is.

"Ok, let's take a break there for now. I wanted to do another exercise with you."

He pulls out a white sheet of paper and holds it up for both of us to see.

"I want you to look at this paper and imagine something that's very important to you. It can be anything but your daughter or your marriage in itself. Then I want you to take the paper and hold on to it on both sides. Then you'll have 5 minutes to decide who gets to have the paper without tearing it. You can discuss it, or just do it all non verbally. What's important is that you need to look at each other and the paper should not be destroyed."

After we've had a moment to come up with something that the paper symbolizes for us, he hands us the sheet. We move a little closer to each other, holding on to it on both sides like we were told. Then the clock starts running and we just look at each other. After maybe ten seconds I ever so softy tug and Will smiles knowingly and then let's go of the paper.

Dr. Miller gasps and stops the clock.

"Ok, I have to say I am surprised a little. This has never happened before, and so quickly. Mr. Gardner, why did you let go quickly like that without discussion?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Well she tugged, so I figured she wanted to have it. And no matter what the paper stands for, I'm willing to give it to her if she wants it. Simple as that."

I am shocked and moved at his words. They are so sweet but I know that they are also true.

"Ok. That is very generous of you I have to say. Well Mrs. Gardner, what did the paper stand for in your mind that made you tug on it?"

"Well, for me the paper represents the family that Will is for me. I grew up with my parents constantly fighting and then getting a divorce. My mother and I never got along well and she was irresponsible and not a good mother to me. I am thankful that I have Will and that he's my family now and I wouldn't have wanted to let go of it for anything."

Will is smiling at me softly and nodding.

"Ok, that makes sense. So, Mr. Gardner, what is it that you gave up on so willingly just now?"

"Well, it's my chance to make Managing Partner. I am still young and my time will come. I will drop out of the race, I would never have entered it in the first place if I would have known it would make Alicia doubt my love for her."

I am shocked at that and sit up straight, turning to face Will.

"What? No! You can't! After all the work you put into it already? You can't back out of it for me, you'll regret it forever and maybe someday you will hate me for it."

"I could never hate you, Alicia, I think we have already established that. But all the work is worth nothing if I never see you and Grace because I'm always working late and am never around. I understand that now."

I nearly jump up and hug him, I want to do so badly.

"I think that is an excellent point, Mr. Gardner. You both made some good ones today, so I think it's the perfect moment to finish for today."

* * *

Soooo how did you like the therapy session? Not gonna lie this was my favorite part :D


	9. The new Beginning

In the evening I'm already in bed and reading when Will comes in carrying a small cardboard box of some kind that I don't recognize initially. He tosses it my way and it lands on the bed next to me – only then do I realize what it is. Condoms, and not just any kind, they are strawberry flavored. What the hell? I look up at him in shock. What is that supposed to mean? I am met with him grinning at me mischievously.

"Not good? I thought strawberry was your favorite fruit?"

He's trying hard to keep a straight face but I see his lips quirk a little.

I stare at him for a few seconds more, trying to process this new piece of information, then burst out in laughter. Will is right there with me and is laughing now as well.

"I don't believe it, you brought me flavored condoms? Are you trying to tell me something?" I want to know once I've caught my breath a little.

He gets a little more serious expression on his face again and sits down on the bed.

"Look, I know this is awkward, but I want you to know I'm not holding it against you anymore. I want to move on and I miss being close to you. So yeah, I know the responsible thing to do is we use condoms for now, no matter how small the risk. And I am trying to tell you that I am ready to go there. That's all. The flavor was just a joke, I figured it would be a grim subject to bring up and I wanted to make it a little more bearable. Anyway, I'm going to have a shower now. You can join me if you want to. I'd like that."

I feel a delicate tug somewhere deep inside of me at the implication, staring at Will who's now starting to undress, disappearing out of my sight just as he's taking off his shirt. I look at the box of condoms and back in the direction of the bathroom. This is too good to be true, or is it? I decide that a shower might be a good start, so I get out of bed and quickly dispose of my nightgown and panties, stepping into the bathroom. Will is already inside the shower and I get in behind him, circling my arms around his waist, my hands coming to rest on his hard stomach. I place a soft kiss in between his shoulder blades, enjoying being close to him like that and naked, too.

He turns around and smiles at me.

"Hey." he greets me and then bends down and kisses me, softly at first, testing the waters but I pull him close and kiss him back deeply, enjoying his lips on mine. I melt into him, letting myself savor this feeling of closeness. I've really missed him, not just the sex but everything about being this close to him, the cuddling and kissing. I'm very aware of his hands that are running up and down my sides, gently cupping my ass and running upwards along my back, making me shiver and rest my head against his shoulder. He picks up the soap and runs it over my whole body along the back, never breaking the contact between us. Then he turns me around so I am facing away from him, pulling me closely against him again and running the soap along my front. My head finds support against the crook of his neck once more and he softly runs his lips along the shell of my ear, playfully nibbling it. I smile and turn back around in his embrace, taking the soap from him and returning the favor. We go on washing each other, taking our time, slowly building up the tension between us all over again. Something I wasn't sure could be repaired, but it feels so good now and almost like nothing bad has ever happened. I almost scares me and I pull away, looking at him softly. I lean in for one more kiss, then get out of the shower and start drying off, Will is following me and the silence between us is not so awkward anymore.

Then again I am not sure what is going to happen next. I spot the box of condoms still sitting on the bed and stop in my tracks when I come into the bedroom. I guess Will bringing them is a very clear message and so is us making out in the shower. But I am still feeling conflicted like a teenage virgin before her first time. Will comes walking in after me towel wrapped around his waist, single drops of water falling out of his wet hair onto his bare chest. I let my own towel fall to the floor and walk up closely to him, tracing some of the drops with my fingers, then leaning up to kiss him. I feel just a little lost but I know I can still trust him to keep me safe and to lead the way and so I let him lead. He softly walks me backwards until the back of my legs hit the bed and lays me down, following me and pulling away his towel. He retrieves one of the condoms out of the box and puts the rest on the nightstand. Our eyes meet and suddenly I don't feel awkward and unsure anymore at all.

* * *

After we are done I cuddle into him, burying my head against his shoulder, our legs intertwined. I was so close to losing all of this, losing him and the chance to ever be with him again, I feel tears begin to sting and threaten to fall. I don't want to cry again, I'm usually stronger than that but I can't help it. I am so endlessly glad that this wonderful guy would consider giving me a chance again.

Will softly kisses the top of my head.

"Sssh Baby, please don't cry. It's going to be all right. I wasn't sure at first but I never stopped loving you, so how can we not be ok in the end?"

"I know, it's just I'm still so scared about almost losing you, and just so angry at myself for my own stupidity."

"Yeah but there's no point now, I'm not something you can so easily lose. You'll always have me."

I lean up to kiss him.

"You're an amazing guy, Will. I love you."

"I know. I love you, too. We should never let that out of our sight."

We untangle from each other then and get cleaned up and brush our teeth. I slip my nightgown back on and 10 minutes later we are back in each others arms under the covers, Will pulling me firmly to him.

"As you keep ending up in my arms anyway we can just start out like this, or don't you agree?"

I chuckle softly.

"Yes. Totally agree. Night Will."

* * *

After that night things gradually get better. We are more aware of each other and our actions and I think it's a good thing. Will has kept his promise and is not working such impossibly long hours anymore, we had Diane over for dinner a short while ago and she thinks that David Lee is going to get promoted anyway because he's such a kiss ass and a man will be more likely to get promoted anyway. I appreciate that he is willing to put his career on hold for me and Grace, the latter is very happy about the fact that she sees her father more.

A couple of weeks later Will tells me he has a surprise. I have no idea what it is when he tells me we're going out and to bring Grace. I thought we were going somewhere for dinner, but we go right back into the business district, driving into an underground parking lot.

"Where are we going Daddy?"

He grins like a fool but I can also see he seems to be nervous about something.

"I have to show Mommy something, then we can go have dinner."

We go into the elevator and drive up to the 25th floor. We come out and into a beautiful but empty office space. The walls and floors are not done but the rest seems to be, so I'd say this could be ready to move into within a couple of weeks.

"Will, what is this place?"

He takes my hand and leads us deeper into the floor, Grace running ahead of us. We go into a big corner office with full ceiling to floor windows all around. It has a stunningly beautiful view and would easily be big enough for 3 people to work in.

"Well, we discussed this a while ago that I would not follow through with the name partner thing because it hurt us too much and brought us apart. Then I got to thinking, what if I could have my name on the door and be closer to you? You're not so far away from becoming equity partner yourself and we have been saving up for your capital contribution. Of course we will need more money for this but I have lined something up and gone through the numbers with an accountant and it doesn't look bad. Diane would be on board, as well. She's frustrated that she was passed over with the promotion and well, this way we could all three be managing partners. What do you say?"

I can just stare at him blankly, the implication of what he just told me suddenly sinking in.

"You mean us...our own firm?"

He grins at me.

"Yes. Our own firm. This could be our office. I thought we could share one if that was all right with you. And Diane's will be right across the office."

"But isn't Diane worried we're going to team up against her or something?"

"No she's not. She knows the both of us and she also knows it's good to have a third voice sometimes to split a vote. And I feel more comfortable with having someone with her experience and client base come with us. Also Kalinda will come join us. We will have to pay her more than she's making now but I think it will be a worthy expense because it won't be easy. But I'm sure we will make it work, and with those two aboard we have the best possible starting position. All you have to say is yes and then we'll jump right in with the preparations."

I gasp in shock. He really has thought this through and Diane coming with us really would be a good thing.

"You know how we dreamed about this ever since law school. Get married and someday have our own firm. The chance is there now and we should take it. Lockhart, Gardner & Gardner."

I furrow my brow and laugh at that.

"Isn't that a bit too much? Wouldn't Lockhart & Gardner be enough? I mean, it would mean the both of us. And it's shorter and does sound less pretentious.

He shrugs his shoulders and pulls me into a close embrace.

"I don't care about the name as long as you say you are in."

"Yes. I'm in."

We seal the deal with a kiss. I don't think that I could be any happier. I have Will back and we are once more the perfect family. And I won't ever let something get in the way of that ever again.

* * *

THE END 3

So, now it's over. Thank you everyone for reading this. Thank you Josie for convincing me to do this one. Or I wouldn't have. And thanks Leigh for the proof reading work :)


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